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Imagine boarding a plane and being seated in the exit row. Before takeoff, flight attendants approach, ensuring you’re both able and willing to assist in case of an emergency. It’s a small chance, but the airline takes no risks. Now, picture the world of caregiving. Unlike the occasional flight, caregivers face a high probability of […]
Dear friend whose partner left this earth this year, but whose family demands that traditions continue, Traditions like turkey and pie and smiling and getting out of bed, I see you wanting to shout, “Doesn’t ‘tradition’ mean doing things the way they’ve been done before? Well, that will be impossible. Things cannot be the same. […]
Lonely. On a Tuesday morning In a Zoom call for work. My mind partially here But mostly with him At the hospital down the road. I used to be like my colleagues, Putting PowerPoints and graphs In the column of things that are important, But that was before I was a caregiver. My columns have […]
Our bodies are ours.
And yet,
it takes fancy machines and people with extensive medical training
to tell us how we’re actually doing,
what our future holds.
She explained that after surgery, my 37-year-old husband would need therapy to re-learn how to talk, swallow, and eat. He would no longer be able to do three of the most basic life functions – functions that connect us to each other, provide us with nourishment, keep us alive. It was then that I realized I had underestimated what
My husband is one of the 30 million Americans living with a rare disease.
His disease, Fanconi Anemia, (FA) has no color recognizable by the general public. You can’t buy cereal or water bottles or winter hats at your local Target to support its cause. Professional athletes don’t wear colorful sneakers to raise awareness on
The path which these caregivers and I had shared until now has forked, them going off in a new direction while I continue on. As soon as they are gone, I miss their presence as they blaze the trail ahead of me. I’m glad to not be with them, but can’t help but strain to see what their road
The waiting, the worrying, and the planning caused damage. Days full of anxiety and devoid of sleep and deep breaths take a toll. Even as I feel the immense relief of the news I had hoped for, my body and mind do not snap immediately back into pre-waiting mode. Instead, a hangover ensues as my body works to detox
He put the camera through my beloved's nostril and the only real time information I had was the doctor's face.
As he scoped, I watched him closely and prayed.
"Dear God, PLEASE let it be clean. Dear God, we cannot handle more cancer. Dear God, the world is already too too much. Dear God, we have already been through
A few steps in, I could tell that Sean was struggling physically. I asked if he'd rather turn around and go home and he said, "What if I never have another chance to watch the sunset with my daughter?" and so we slowly continued on.
WHERE WAS I when the first doctor said, “I think something is off…”? I was in Vail, Colorado on vacation for our family of three, already cut short due to the death of my grandfather. Girlie was four and more excited about the swing set near the hotel than the […]
It is uncomfortable to be aware of our own mortality, and it is tempting to shove uncomfortable statistics into tidy boxes labeled, “Things That Happen Randomly” and “Things That Happen To Other People.”
But there is nothing random about this virus and there are no “other people.”
It is much easier to be hospitalized, homebound, grieving, depressed on a Tuesday than on days like this.
For Tuesdays are not filled with expectations.
They are not photo worthy.
There are no hashtags.
The fear, concern, vigilance, and practices that the world is currently struggling to adopt
have been part of your daily life and mine for years. It only took a global pandemic for everyone else to catch up.
But just when the world is getting a glimpse of what your life is like on any given Tuesday,
you have moved on
Procedure after procedure, they chisel away at him. It makes me think of a sculptor who starts with a piece of rock and then, bit by bit, removes pieces here and there until it no longer looks like a dull piece of stone, but instead a new creation. However, his shape was perfect to begin […]
These small gestures will show your friends that you see them, that you are working to meet them where they are, and that you value their presence at this event and in your life.
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