Creating Systems of Support
Anchor Phrase: Delegation is a Powerful Form of Self-Care
Dear Caregiver,
In the chapter on “Transitioning Into a Season of Caregiving” we determined which of the roles, responsibilities, and activities in your life can be paused during this season. Now it’s time to look at all that remains on your plate and to begin to create systems of support for you and your family. There are likely loud voices in your mind or your community telling you that you should do it all, but as a caregiver for over a decade, I’m here to say that doing so is not sustainable.
In this chapter, we’re going to be anchored by the phrase “Delegation is a powerful form of self-care.” That doesn’t mean it’s easy to do, but here you’ll find tools that will help, because caregiver, you need and deserve support and every task you delegate frees up precious time, energy, and breathing room. Let’s begin.
Allison Breininger
Founder and Executive Director of The Negative Space
reflection questions
- When you think about asking for or accepting help, what feelings, reactions, or phrases come up for you?
- Do any of the following statements ring true as possible underlying reasons for these feelings or as the roots of those reactions?
- I feel like I should be able to do it all on my own.
- In my family and/or culture it has been taught and modeled that it’s not okay to ask for help.
- It would be easier if I just did it myself.
- If I delegate, the other person might not do it correctly.
- Everyone is so busy. I don’t want to be a burden.
- I’m so busy that I won’t be able to reciprocate.
- I don’t have anyone I can trust or rely on.
- Something else?
- If your close friend was in your situation and listed the hesitations you just named, how would you respond?
- How might the following people benefit if you decide to ask for and accept help?
- You
- Your loved one
- Your family
- Those offering help
- What might happen if you don’t create a system of support?
Guided Meditation
Essays and Poetry
Drowning
I feel like I’m drowning.
Not like you would imagine,
a lone swimmer bobbing along in the middle of the ocean,
with no one for miles.
No, I feel as if I’m drowning in a well-populated area.
Isn’t That Enough?
I glare at the beautifully manicured sidewalks of neighbors,
scraped clean by snow removal services, snow blowers, or healthy husbands,
of which I have none.