Welcome, caregiver, to the meditation for loneliness. During your time as a caregiver, it’s possible that your relationships have changed, but even so, you are not alone. The Negative Space and our community of caregivers are here with you now and in all the moments to come.
Caregiver, taking time for yourself is essential for your well-being. This time and this space are for you. We’re so glad you’ve chosen to be here.
Let’s begin. I invite you to take a moment to find a comfortable position, honoring whatever feels best to your body right now. You can close your eyes or softly rest your gaze in front of you. Notice whatever is physically supporting your body. If possible, feel yourself sink a little deeper into that support. Notice that you are breathing in and out. If you like, you can place one hand on your breastbone and one hand on your belly. Let yourself feel the gentle movement of your breath without any effort to control or change it.
During this guided meditation, you’ll notice thoughts arise. This is natural, and not a problem. Simply notice when you are distracted, acknowledge the thought, and welcome yourself back to the sound of my voice. You might have to do this again and again, and that’s ok.
If you like, check in with your body. Notice how your body feels right now. You might observe areas where there is tension and areas where there is more ease. Perhaps there are places that don’t feel good or bad, but simply feel neutral, or places where you don’t have much awareness. With each thing you notice, just be as curious as possible. There is no need to fix anything.
Just as the demands of caregiving have likely caused a shift in your priorities and adjustments to your daily life, it’s possible that, since becoming a caregiver, your relationships have shifted as well. You may have less time and energy to socialize. You may have noticed people who were once central to your life shying away, not knowing how to show up, or showing up in ways that feel hurtful or disappointing. Perhaps you experienced an initial flood of support, followed by a painful drought. Unfortunately, these experiences are not uncommon for caregivers, and they can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
If you are feeling lonely right now, gently observe the loneliness. How does it feel in your body? Everyone is different. Maybe you notice a sense of heaviness. Maybe your chest feels tight. Or maybe your throat feels constricted. There is no right or wrong. Just observe how loneliness is showing up in your body in this moment. Without trying to analyze, or judge, or push away discomfort…just let loneliness be there, exactly as it is. Tell yourself, “I am lonely right now. This is how loneliness feels in my body today.” As you experience the sensations of loneliness, consider inviting a sense of kindness. Loneliness can be painful, and you can meet your pain with compassion.
When we experience pain, we often feel like we’re the only ones. This feels isolating and contributes to loneliness. Yet right now, as close as your own community and as far as distant continents, there are people just like you who are caregiving, and who are feeling the pain of loneliness. As caregivers, you share a meaningful connection. Imagining yourself sending compassion to caregivers everywhere can help you feel this powerful connection.
We can start by recognizing that in this very moment, there are many other people in your community who are also caregiving, and who are also feeling lonely. There may even be other caregivers who are listening to this meditation along with you right now. Imagine that you could send these caregivers a message: “I understand how you feel. I feel lonely too. You are not alone.” Imagine the comfort these other caregivers might take from your compassionate words: “I understand how you feel, I feel lonely too, and you are not alone.” And imagine that you could feel those words reflecting back to you from your fellow caregivers: “We understand how you feel. We feel lonely too, and you are not alone.”
In this next moment, let’s extend your awareness to caregivers beyond your community. Include those who are in your state, your region, and your entire country. Imagine that you could reach out to all of the people who, like you, are feeling the loneliness that comes with caregiving. What if you could tell each one of them: “We are on this path of caregiving together. I know how you feel. You are not alone.” And what if you could feel their compassionate response: “We are on this path of caregiving together. We know how you feel. You are not alone.”
Now, invite your recognition to extend to caregivers around the globe. As if they could hear you and take comfort from your words, tell them: “I’m caregiving, too. We are strangers, but we share this experience of loneliness, and you are not alone.” Send your understanding, your kindness, and your compassion to the millions of people around the world who, in this very moment, are feeling the same type of loneliness as you. Let them know: “you are not alone.” And then imagine receiving understanding, kindness, and compassion reflected back to you from the people who truly understand what you are experiencing; the caregivers from all over the world who might say to you: “we are strangers, but we share an experience that creates a meaningful connection between us. You are not alone.”
I’m going to be quiet for the next 30 seconds. If you like, continue to feel the invisible but powerful connection you share with caregivers as near as your own community and as far as the other side of the world. In this moment, there are caregivers across the globe who are feeling lonely, just like you. You are truly not alone. Let yourself feel this connection you share with caregivers everywhere.
Come back to your body and notice how the physical sensation of loneliness might have shifted since you began this meditation. As this meditation draws to a close, you might choose to place your hand on your heart to acknowledge the importance of showing up for yourself and to honor the choice you made to be here, setting aside this time for your well-being. Then take a moment to gently move your body, maybe wiggling your fingers and toes or gently turning your head, and then slowly blink your eyes open.
As you move forward with your day, remember that you are not alone, and that we, at The Negative Space, and the whole community of caregivers, are here with you.