Welcome, caregiver, to the meditation for creating systems of support. As you move towards creating systems of support for yourself and your family, it is important to recognize that delegation is a powerful form of self-care and remember that The Negative Space is here with you in this and all the moments to come.
Caregiver, taking time for yourself is essential for your well-being. This time and this space are for you. We’re so glad you’ve chosen to be here.
Let’s begin. I invite you to take a moment to find a comfortable position, honoring whatever feels best to your body right now. You can close your eyes or softly rest your gaze in front of you. Notice whatever is physically supporting your body. If possible, feel yourself sink a little deeper into that support. Notice that you are breathing in and out. If you like, you can place one hand on your breastbone and one hand on your belly. Let yourself feel the gentle movement of your breath without any effort to control or change it.
During this guided meditation, you’ll notice thoughts arise. This is natural, and not a problem. Simply notice when you are distracted and welcome yourself back to the sound of my voice. You might have to do this again and again, and that’s ok.
I invite you to check in with your body. Notice how your body feels right now. You might observe areas where there is tension and areas where there is more ease. Perhaps there are places that don’t feel good or bad, but simply feel neutral or places where you don’t have much awareness. With each thing you notice, just be as curious as possible. There is no need to fix anything.
Caregiver, we know that it can feel vulnerable to ask for help or to delegate a task. Maybe you feel you should be able to do everything yourself, or that you don’t want to be a burden, or that it would just be easier this way. But whether you realize it or not, you are already relying on others to make your daily existence safe, comfortable, and possible.
You rely on the people who grow and transport your food. You rely on those whose job it is to make sure water comes out of your faucets. You rely on those who work to ensure that the lights come on when you flip a switch. You rely on the people who put out fires, deliver the mail, repair the roads, and do countless other jobs that positively impact your life every day.
Your nervous system also relies on others for connection and regulation. This is a basic human need. Without connection, none of us can thrive. We need and rely on each other in countless ways.
Admitting to ourselves that we are dependent on others, no matter how independent we might wish to be,can feel vulnerable. And it can also be a beautiful opportunity to understand our interconnectedness with others. We can view this interconnectedness with fear, or we can invite a sense of gratitude. Cultivating gratitude for all the ways we are supported by others can enhance our well-being and our ability to connect with others.
Let’s begin by noting something that you rely on, but that is not personal to you, like electricity or food. Whatever you choose, can you reflect for a moment on the many, many people who are involved in making this accessible to you? Invite a sense of gratitude to everyone whose efforts make this possible. If you like, offer a silent, heartfelt “thank you” to everyone involved.
Gratitude is an emotion that you can feel in your body. In this moment, what does gratitude feel like to you? Where and how does your body experience gratitude?
Next, think of a small moment of connection or kindness that you experienced recently with a stranger or acquaintance. This could be a friendly “how’s your day going?” from the cashier at the grocery store, a warm welcome from the receptionist at an appointment, a person who let you merge into traffic with a wave and a smile, or some similar gesture of kindness or connection. [Longer pause] Invite a sense of gratitude for this moment, for this person’s kind gesture. If you like, offer a silent, heartfelt “thank you” to this person. Pause to feel the gratitude in your body.
Now consider a recent moment of connection with someone who is personally important to you. Maybe this was a hug or a meaningful conversation with a friend or a loved one. Perhaps it was a call or message that let you know that someone cares. Maybe it was time spent with a cherished pet. Invite a sense of gratitude to this person or animal for their presence, love, and attention. Silently offer a heartfelt “thank you” for the positive impact they have on your life. Pause to feel the gratitude in your body.
Receiving support does not mean you are weak. It means you are human. It means you are part of a beautifully connected web of giving and receiving. As a caregiver, you will need to ask for help as you create systems of support. Remind yourself that delegation is a powerful form of self-care. Invite yourself to notice and acknowledge when delegating feels vulnerable or uncomfortable. Let yourself truly feel this if it is your experience. And then offer a brief silent and heartfelt “thank you” to everyone who is supporting you in this season of caregiving.
As this meditation draws to a close, you might choose to place your hand on your heart to acknowledge the importance of showing up for yourself and to honor the choice you made to be here, setting aside this time for your well-being. Then take a moment to gently move your body, maybe wiggling your fingers and toes or gently turning your head, and then slowly blink your eyes open.
As you move forward with your day, remember that delegation is a powerful form of self-care, and that The Negative Space is here for you.