I came to expect that every time I logged on, I would be greeted by the little green circle to the right of her name, illumined, the online version of leaving on the front porch light.Read More
Charts of accumulated inches, photos of cars stranded, maps made beautifully daunting with colors, coded to show who’s got it worst fill our news feed and our consciousness. Even when our window shows only a dusting of snow and our own commutes are perfectly manageable, these images from elsewhere negate what we are actually experiencing, instead clouding our minds with fear that we will be next, that our data will be added to the charts, that we will become the next headline.Read More
Dear friend whose beloved partner, child, friend, parent is missing today,
YES, I’m sure there are things in your life for which to be merry
you get to say, today, and any other day you want:
THIS IS TERRIBLE. I MISS MY PERSON. NOTHING IS THE SAME WITHOUT THEM.Read More
Come close, I have to tell you a secret: I know what your friend really wants.Read More
One way to spend this season is to fret that it’s too good to be true,
going around knocking on wood, daring not to say or even think that things are going well, for fear of waking the sleeping giant,
waiting for the shoe to drop,
spending days staring at the sky,
eyes playing tricks, convincing the brain that perhaps a glimmer of a shoelace was seen.
Over time, a silent agreement has been made that our vernacular and that of those around us, should eliminate talk of the far-off future.Read More
He knows that walking from the gate to the baggage claim, though hard on his physical heart,
is easier on his proverbial one than feeling the looks and sensing the judgement of those who think there are only two of them on this trip, not three.
Just like a t-shirt or a bracelet, I use my coffee mugs to set my mantra for the day. I choose them carefully and with joy and cradle them in my palms as I slowly sip my coffee throughout the morning.Read More
The puppy dog eye thing is not helpful....although to be fair/confusing if you asked about my chronically ill husband with eyes bright and chipper I may have to punch you in my mind. (Did I mention that you can't win? You can't.)Read More
As if the divide between me in the waiting room and him in the operating room doesn’t already seem cavernous enough, it’s as if they are un-marrying us with this act.Read More
He looked at me with big eyes and said quietly, "Oh. I see what you mean. She is kinda doing exactly what you wanted to do."Read More
But I don’t need to write about that. Those are the well-practiced speeches you hear from caregivers everywhere. I’m here to say that there is more to those speeches, there is more to those caregivers, and there is more to this role than you can imagine, all sitting there unseen and unappreciated in the negative space.Read More
10:43 AM: Cat walks over to where I’m sitting. Vomits.
10:43 AM: Mute microphone just in time. Nod, smile, look engaged.
In addition to the snarky tees, there’s the line of Zen master fashion. These shirts are like carrying Deepak Chopra in a Baby Bjorn on my chest.Read More
Caregiver Position DescriptionRead More
Let me be 100% clear about something right from the start. You know by now that I’m all about how hard it is to be a caregiver and how we’re the unsung heroes. AND YET, I need to make sure that you know that I know that there’s a reason the patients are the Sung Heroes, which yes, is a term I just made up.Read More
Years ago, I was convinced by my dear friend Samantha to sign up for an improv class she was teaching. At the scene work and character study I was awkward and inept, coming into my own only once as I played a drunk Southern belle. Nevertheless, from that eight-week course I took a phrase that has informed my work and life ever since.Read More