Drowning

I feel like I’m drowning.

Not like you would imagine,

a lone swimmer bobbing along in the middle of the ocean,

with no one for miles.

No, I feel as if I’m drowning in a well-populated area.

An ocean, yes,

Dark

Deep

Dangerous,

but one with people everywhere.

My loved ones in fact,

in boats nearby,

smiling and waving and watching me "swim".

Why do they not see that I’m drowning?

Isn’t it obvious?

The flailing of arms,

the gasping for air,

the fact that I’m nose deep in water?

Do they think I’m part mermaid?

That I’m comfortable here?

Perhaps this is how they have come to know me.

I spend so much time like this,

nose deep in the water,

that perhaps they think this is where I live.

Perhaps they wouldn’t know what to think if they saw me on dry land.

Perhaps I make drowning look too good.