Our daughter and her friend are upstairs playing The Game of LIFE.
SPIN “You’re getting married!”
SPIN “Twins!”
SPIN “You lost your job!’
One floor below, but in close enough range to hear every spin and every shriek, a different Game of Life is playing out.
SPIN “You got Fanconi anemia!”
SPIN “You got throat cancer!”
SPIN “It’s inoperable!”
Upstairs:
Which path do you take:
college first or right to work?
Downstairs:
The surgery path is no longer available to you.
Radiation is the only path you can choose…
unless you want to stop playing altogether, that is.
Upstairs:
Spin to determine how many children you will have!
The game says:
1-3: 0 babies
4-6: 1 baby
7-8: Twins
9-10: Triplets
Mathematical probability tells us that
there’s a 7/10 chance
you’ll be a parent.
Spin to find out!
Downstairs:
Pursue radiation to see if it kills the cancer without killing you!
Research says:
8/12 patients with Fanconi anemia did not survive radiation therapy.
Mathematical probability tells us that
there’s a 4/12 chance
you will survive.
Pursue radiation to find out!
Upstairs:
Should we take the
Safe Route
or the
Risky Road?
If we land on the right spot on the Risky Road we could get big money.
If we don’t, we could have to pay big money.
It’s worth the risk! Let’s do it!
Downstairs:
Is there a Safe Route available to us
or is every Road Risky?
Lower doses of radiation mean less chance of terrible, potentially life-threatening side effects
but
Lower doses of radiation may also not be effective in killing the cancer.
Risky Road it is!
Upstairs:
I’m getting tired of this.
My “life” didn’t turn out the way I had expected.
There were some fun things along the way, but look where I ended up.
Good thing it’s just a game!
Downstairs:
I’m getting tired of this.
My life didn’t turn out the way I had expected.
There were some fun things along the way, but look where I ended up.
………
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3 Responses
I don’t know what to say so I’m just going to say that I read what you wrote and I am here.
I love this poem, and all of your writing I’ve read so far. Thank you for sharing in such a raw way what the cancer journey is, and the feelings that accompany being a caregiver.
With love, a cancer patient with a caregiver who loves her but is worn out and sad, too
Hi Michaela,
I’m so glad you found my site and that my words are supporting you. You described this role so perfectly: love, being worn out, sadness. Yes to all of it. Sending you and your caregiver so much love.